Sons of Anarchy Have Nothing On Rose

This is Rose. As many of you know she is a Pirate, Paci-trafficking smuggler (I think I found one of her many possible hiding spots), Ape Tamer, all around sweet girl, and I guess we may have to add bad ass biker babe to that list.

She loves to ride. The wind in her hair, the rumbling of the engine, the  fumes, and the looks she gets as she cruises around.

This is Rose’s Hog. We think she likes the name Murder for it. (you didn’t really think I put her on an actual bike did you?) She cruises around the apartment on it. By cruises I mean one of us has got to push her, because her feet don’t touch enough for her to propel herself along the carpet.

She will ride Murder through the apartment for as long as we allow her to. She especially likes to run us over.

Now because I am a fucking idiot am a pretty awesome Dad I thought it would be fun to take Rose and Murder outside for a ride, since it is so pretty out.

(I failed to mention Murder has a radio button that only plays one song. It is a princess melody that sounds like it is right out of a Mario Bros. game. It plays a very high pitched melody that makes you want to tear your face off just so you would have something to wad up and stick in your ears.)

Back to my little pirate biker. So we went outside and she was very excited to see Murder come along with us.  I set her in the seat and she grabbed the handle bars and pointed as if to tell me “engage number one”.

I say the S.O.A. have nothing on her because as soon as we started moving she pursed her little lips together and eye balled everyone that happened to be outside talking about how cute she was. She looked like a little bad ass. To make her self out to be even more hard core she reached one hand down between her legs and hit the music button.

Now it sounded like Princess Pea owned her own ice cream truck. I mean you could hear this damned thing a half a mile away. She just bobbed her head slowly with her pursed lips as if she were listening to hard rock. Giving me the occasional glance  to make sure I was still pushing Murder.

Every thirty seconds she would reach down and restart the music. We eventually pulled off to the grass to give my back a rest inspect her yard space. She crawled back to Murder to restart the music while we did. Then we cruised back to the apartment. As notorious as she is,  I think I am going to have to keep my eye one her. She may start running  a Barbie doll ring from complex to complex with her record..

People will cower behind locked doors when they see this bad ass coming down the road…

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This entry was posted in Family, Fatherhood, Humor, imagination, rose, Rosebud, S.O.A., smugglers. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Sons of Anarchy Have Nothing On Rose

  1. The Compulsive Writer says:

    Paci-trafficking smuggler? Love it.

  2. mommyLIT says:

    I told Natalie I would be calling Nellie “Death” because of the havoc she brought upon the entire family with her stomach plague. I can now say, “Bella lets go visit Death and her hog, Murder.” exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcellent.

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