My life as I now know it…

Hi there, my name is Joshua. I am new to the blogging world so you are going to have to be a little patient with me. I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now. I want to let the world know about my beautiful daughter Nellie, but first a little bit about myself.

When  I was growing up I may have been a bit different than other kids. You see I never wanted to be a firefighter, Police officer, or even an Astronaut. I never had delusions of grandeur. I didn’t care if I was a rock star or a great author. No folks my dream job for as long as I could remember was being a father. It is all I ever wanted. I always idolized my own father. He was my hero, and I wanted to be able to be that for someone.

In early 2003 I met the woman of my dreams. Our relationship went from strangers to best friends very quickly. We evolved further and began dating in early 2004, and were married in September of 2005. Our relationship is for another post.

In October of 2007 we both decided we were ready to start trying to conceive. By December 1st we found out we were pregnant. I thought I had the whole getting the wife knocked up thing down. I mean one try and boom. Anyways, we were overjoyed. I can not describe in words how excited we both were.  When my wife told me I remember we stayed in bed hugging and laughing for the next hour. We told everyone that we knew that we were pregnant that very same day.

On the 19th of December we went in for an ultra sound. We saw the flickering heartbeat of our little Green Bean and began to cry. Tears of joy of course. I think it was the first time I had ever cried from such pride.

Our joy was sadly short lived. On December 21st 2007 My wife began having cramps. She had been spotting a little and was worried. I did the only thing I knew to do trying to comfort her. I told her not to worry, everything was going to work its self out. “something I wish I never said”. We came home and called her doctor.  She put it on speaker phone as she described her symptoms.  I nervously listened as the doctor told us softly that it sounded like the beginnings of a miscarriage. My heart sank as Natalie hung up. I don’t know how I held it together as long as I did. I walked her to the bedroom and then I walked back out to the living room holding back tears. I called her dad and told him what had happened and that we wouldn’t be coming up for Christmas. I called my parents and told them. Then texted all our friends. I informed everyone that our ringers would be off and we would talk to everyone when we were able. I turned my ringer off and joined Natalie in the bedroom. We held each  other and sobbed the rest of the night.

The loss of a miscarriage is something that I would not wish upon anyone. The pain is  indescribable, and you really can’t grasp it until you have been through it. We decided to start trying again around may of 2008. We went through several months of disappointment and heart ache. Test after test period after period.

May 9th 2009, as I was standing in the bathroom half asleep my wife was standing there all bouncy. With my eyes half open  I asked what she was doing up and she said she took a test. What kind of test I replied in my half awake stupor. She explained it was a pregnancy test and that it was positive. I immediately hugged her a huge sigh of relief escaped me as I told her I loved her. “then remembered that I had to pee”

The pregnancy was as easy as they come. Everything went as it was supposed to. My wife was sick every morning, she gained  weight, she felt fat, and got tired easy as her back hurt, and I didn’t change at all… Ok joking aside it was a typical Pregnancy.

On January 20th 2010, we welcomed our beautiful daughter Nellie Rose into this world. I have never cried so hard in all of my life. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and my heart swells with pride as I write this now while feeding her.

This blog is about me and my little Rosebud. I hope you will stick around and read about our journey here….

Our Family

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